For funds were sinking low
Then shouts of joy, "I've got it boy
Up to Old Dub we'll go
There we'll mount our bike and take a hike
All back to Ennis town
We'll raise some cash and we'll a raise a rash
And no more we'll need to frown"
In his shirt of many a hue
And he said: "kind bloke, is this a joke
My God what a motley crew"
With spindly knees and thighs like fleas
Ne'er any muscle showing
The fat, the lean, the in between
With many a wheeze a blowing
To lead us in the fray
Perhaps overweight he had the gait
That said "you will not stray"
Would he make the grade,? Some were afraid
Some said he surely "coulda"
No smiling elf upon a shelf
But a full-blown laughing Buddha
As he turned the air quite blue
"You lazy runt, get off your … saddle"
As the pedals fairly flew
"No don't change down you silly clown
That hill's a simple chore"
But he got us fit, the military twit
And I wish he would go slower
To make you feel just fine
Then with a burst, like an engine thrust
He will leave you miles behind
But he raised the loot and to tell the truth
My mind is all a twitter
Can't work it out, still have a doubt
Is he or Brennan fitter?
To mount the bike once more
With sixteen stone of flesh and bone
No wonder the butt is sore
But he raised the pace and he ran the race
Mile by grinding mile
And he made his Mark, long before dark
In true Teutonic style
Where the sun will never shine
Some said t'would heal, Tommy said "let's feel
For you have a nice behind
That's not saddle sore, you silly whore
You just get that from fartin'
But you'd best take care for I'll not share
My very own Steve Martin"
He shed the pounds all right
That day-glo blob, he earned the bob
By cycling day and night
He cannot sit, though now he's fit
With chest so firm and hairy
But we love him still for he has the will
Our own apothecary
To see if he could make it
Though slow at first, you thought he'd burst
But now he can really shake it
He trained alone till he got the tone
Now he will no longer tarry
Up hill, down dale, o'er smooth, o'er shale
It's iron-man Tony Barry
To see would Marcus make it
Some said he'd be late , or emigrate
While others said he'd fake it
The gel was running, the eyes were cunning
As he tucked in behind the pack
But the Donegal blue came shining through
Put the punters on the rack
Ere he would take a stop
But we saw him frown as he looked right down
For the king he would not pop
Then we watched him wince at the bonnie wee prince
Ere he fled into wind and rain
And the last we could hear, as we quaffed our beer
"Will he ne'er come back again"
With wheelies, jumps and skids
But in Kildare town he came right down
'Midst applause from adults and kids
Though black,blue and bleeding, his courage not needing
He jumped right back in the saddle
With undented pride, he rode stride for stride
Said:"I'm too young for this… 'twaddle'?"
A real Carey look-alike
Assured and calm, he was his own man
As though moulded to his bike
We tried hard to be nice, so we might entice
A new Lion to our numeric
To our great dismay, we all heard him say
He'd much rather be a cleric!
He should be home in a sweater
But I am still not over the hill
Though the view is getting better
Still we had a blast, as we cycled past
Through fields of scented clover
Would I do it again? You must be insane
By God I'm glad that's over
Leather Pres he rode the line
While Flynn's patrol achieved its goal
With Teddy's fuel divine
With Eamonn at the rear there was no fear
That Pat would run us over from behind
While in the lead was James one-speed
Whose music drove us out of our mind
It will not be about Iraq
But of that gallant crew of Lions so true
Who rode from Dublin back
They raised the dough so flowers grow
To make the old folk smile
You can say it loud, you can say it proud
They tamed the hardest mile.
